What is God’s role for the woman in marriage? The number one role for the woman is to be godly, both in general and as a wife. Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”
As a godly wife, a woman’s first duty is to cling to the Lord and pursue holiness. The second role of a woman in marriage is to cling to her husband and pursue him. “Your wife shall be a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house...” (Psalm 128:3). The picture here is of a fruitful vine growing up the side of a house. The house represents the husband, and the woman is the vine clinging to him. This is how she shows that her affection and devotion are to him and no other.
If she will put the Lord first and her husband second, most of the rest will follow naturally. These results are described in Proverbs 31:10-31. For instance, she will be a virtuous woman (v.10), strong and dependable. She will be trustworthy (v.11-12), hardworking (v.13), gracious, and kind (v.20). Last but certainly not least, as said in Proverbs 31:23, “Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.” This speaks to how she honors and respects her husband by how she acts, speaks, and dresses before others, both when he is present and when he is not. Paul wrote it like this in Ephesians 5:33: “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
There is no greater pride for a husband than to have a godly wife who fears the Lord first and loves and respects him second.