How do I talk to a spouse who won’t listen?

The first thing to do is always take everything to God in prayer! Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” This is not a one-time prayer. You can’t pray expecting God to sprinkle magic Christian dust on your spouse to instantly do what you wish him or her to do. This will require a commitment to prayer and a determination to patiently wait on God to soften your spouse's heart.

The next thing to do is to live before your spouse in a way that honors the Lord and serves your spouse without words. In 1 Peter 3, we see how husband and wife are to respond to each other. “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives” (1 Peter 3:1). “Husbands, likewise (meaning just like what the wife was told to do, you do as well) dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). Many times, acts of loving service speak louder and soften hearts quicker than any amount of words—not to mention that God’s Word tells us in Proverbs 10:19 that, “In a multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise.”

Giving time to intentional prayer and to sweetly serving the Lord and your spouse, without expecting anything in return, will in time present the opportunity for conversations with your spouse that can result in a closer relationship with one another, and a closer relationship together with the Lord.