Scripture Passage: Song of Solomon 1:1-16
To be completely known and still be loved without fear of rejection is the supreme goal of marriage.
But how many marriages are on the rocks because of poor communication? According to many counselors, 100% of couples seeking marriage counseling are out of rhythm due to a lack of communication.
God shows us in His Word how husbands and wives can communicate, and it is modeled in the Songs of Solomon: a book of love poems, exemplifying the music of marriage.
And as we eavesdrop on their conversation and observe the words said between these two lovers, we learn how they are used, and how they are received.
- Their words are plentiful. Sixty percent of the book consists of two lovers speaking to one another directly and plentifully.
- Their words are personal. They call each other by names only they know about, unique and individual, special in each other’s eyes.
- Their words are positive. There is not one negative word of criticism in this book; nothing critical, no correction.
- Their words are passionate. Their words for each other were full of life, rooted directly in their feelings.
Our words sustain our marriages. Our words repair hurt feelings. Our words grow love.
The problem here is that we believe words of love flow out of feeling. But most of the time, it is really that feeling that flows out of words.
Adrian Rogers says, “We need to work on this thing of intimacy in marriage, and I’ll tell you why. It gives incredible freedom and it’s worth it. You’ll never arrive at perfection, but you need to make a start if you want to have a happy home.”
There is always room to improve communication as husband and wife. If you do not communicate, your marriage will disintegrate. The music of marriage is worth finding the rhythm.
Apply it to your life
Do you need to work on your communication skills with your spouse? Of course! If you aren’t progressing, you are regressing. Talk to your spouse. Watch your words carefully. Pray for wisdom to learn what he or she is feeling, as well as the patience to honor them as you both work toward completely knowing and loving each other, without the fear of rejection.