Everything that God made, He said was “good” (Genesis 1:31). Look closely at the evils in our society. You will notice that they are all abuses of God’s “good” gifts for selfish gratification. Predictably, God’s most wonderful gifts are used for man’s greatest evil—with sexuality at the top of the list.
Improper use of God’s gifts, particularly sexual intimacy, leads to physical and emotional scars that can last a lifetime. When it is forced upon a child, particularly by a family member, the results are devastating. Victims have tremendous difficulty sharing proper intimate relationships physically and emotionally, as well as spiritually. By destroying the trust in your father-daughter relationship, your father made it very difficult to enjoy a relationship with your heavenly Father. This is, perhaps, the greatest stumbling block to your marital intimacy.
Most importantly, you and your husband need to work toward intimacy with God through Jesus Christ. There is not enough collective psychological knowledge on the planet to heal your marriage in the absence of a relationship to your heavenly Father. Only He can take the burden that you carry around (Psalm 55:22). Only He can make you a new and unblemished creation (2 Corinthians 5:17).
What happened to you as a child is the focus of your heavenly Father’s compassion. Let His love give you and your husband great confidence and bring you into spiritual oneness. This will be a great help to physical intimacy.
Also, remember that the burden of sexual abuse takes time to release. Your marriage would greatly benefit from Christ-centered counseling and support. Marital intimacy will thrive when intimacy with God comes first (Matthew 6:33).
Taken from Adrian Rogers' weekly newspaper column. Used by permission. 2001, The Commercial Appeal.