January 31, 2012
“Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile.” I Peter 3:8-10.
Do you want to learn how to keep the honey in the honeymoon? There’s no better advice I can give couples today, then to submit to the Lordship of Christ in their home. Here are five secrets God has revealed from His Word to develop a lasting love in your relationship:
Joyce understands that God is first in my life and she doesn’t mind being second. Why? Because she knows that I can love her more by putting her second than I ever could love her by putting her first.
First Peter 3:7 says, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” (emphasis mine).
There is no male superiority and female inferiority when it comes to trusting in God.
Every home is going to be attacked. Ours has, yours will, too. There are three kinds of attacks. First, there are earthquakes that shake your family to the very foundation. Second, there are woodpeckers that peck away at your home, and third, there are termites that silently eat away at your home. Usually, it is easier to deal with the earthquakes and the woodpeckers than it is the termites.
If we would just banish bitterness and attack the problem rather than one another, our families would be a lot better off.
First Peter 3:8-10 has much to say about the communication a couple needs to have in order to enjoy a lasting love. Joyce and Adrian are very different. We took a psychological profile and the very areas that I was the highest in, she’s the lowest in. In many ways we are total opposites. And yet, typically what attracts us before marriage drives us crazy after.
One way we can build communication is to have a good date life and there are four kinds of dates that every couple needs to make ─ each spouse needs to have a daily date with God; If a couple has children, each one needs to have a regular date with their kids; Couples need to have a date by themselves; Then, they need to have a date with each other.
Keep the love light burning. Let’s look again at 1 Peter 3:7, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
So many couples stop courting one another after they marry. Never let it end. Another thing I encourage you to do is to compliment one another. Joyce and I regularly walked most mornings. In our neighborhood is a curve in the road that we called “the compliment curve.” From the time we got on that curve till the end, we would do nothing but compliment one another.
Now, because I am a man, I have more to say to men about what they can do to keep the romance alive. Gentleman, never cease flirting with your wife. You need to keep your wife “first” above all other women. Second, respect and be courteous to her at all times. Open the door for her and not just when other people are looking.
I say this last, not because it is least, but because it is most important. First Peter 3:7 tells the husband to “dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
Joyce and I started out our marriage and continued it in praying together. In the mornings, we would pray for each of our children and grandchildren by name because we know the Bible says, “Except the LORD build the house, they labor in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain” (Psalm 127:1).
To the men who may be reading this, I implore you to humble yourself and get down on your knees with your wife and practice prayer. It will give her great confidence and comfort.
If you are married or are contemplating marriage, pray about doing these things to create a love that will last.