Winning the Battle for the Home, Part 1
A Study from Proverbs Chapter Five
You have heard that it was said to those of old, “You shall not commit adultery.”’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:27-28.
In recent days three high profile events remind us once again—though we hardly need a reminder—of how Satan has our homes under constant attack. Public scandals involving a prominent governor, a former presidential candidate, and an international banker all made headlines within the space of a few days. Some shake their heads and wonder “how can these things be?”
This month, Love Worth Finding devotes our radio and television broadcast schedule to the subject of the family.
From the beginning of time, God has had a plan for the family, and Satan has waged war against it. We see that war daily—a war over moral purity and the sanctity of the home.
In this lesson we begin where marriage began, Genesis 2:18-23. As you read, fill in certain key words.
And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a _____________ _____________________ to him.”
Out of the ______________, the Lord God formed every ___________ of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name.
So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air and to every beast of the field. But for __________, there was not found a ________________ _____________________ to him.
And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam and he slept; and He took one of his __________ and closed up the ____________ in its place.
Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, He made into a woman, and He _________________ her to the man.
And Adam said,
“This is now ________ of my ____________ and ___________ of my ____________.
She shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
Adam realizes, “She is not just another animal. She is bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.” Adam looks at her and says, “I like this. She is like me.”
The book of Genesis is the seed bed of so much truth. If you want to know God’s pattern for the home, you will see it here.
- God made someone like Adam. He was not to cohabitate with the beasts. Bestiality is a sin against Almighty God.
- God made a woman for Adam, not a man. Had another man been God’s plan, He’d have no trouble working out the details of procreation. But it was not. This tells us homosexuality is a sin against God.
- God brought only one woman. He could have created two, three, or a harem. This tells us polygamy is not God’s plan.
Polygamy, homosexuality, bestiality, adultery—all are violations of God’s divine design.
From the Very Beginning
Notice that God built the home even before He instituted government and the church. His plan was for one man to marry one woman, till death do them part. Continue one more verse, to verse 24:
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they [two] shall become _______ __________.
He intended man to leave his father and mother and “cleave” to his wife. He commanded that they not commit adultery.
When two people become “one flesh,” a joining occurs similar to weaving two different threads into a fabric. They are bonded, interwoven together. This is one reason why the Apostle Paul asks such a blunt, plainspoken question in 1 Corinthians 6:15-16. Turn to this passage and fill in some key words:
15 Do you not know that your________________ are members of Christ? Shall I then take the __________________ of Christ and make them members of a _______________? Certainly not! 16 Or do you not know that he who is______________ to a harlot is ________ body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.”
Paul does not mince words. In graphic terms he describes what occurs when a person becomes involved with someone outside the covenant of marriage.
Anyone who has been through divorce or experienced a mate’s infidelity knows the effects of that…a tearing as real as a beautiful, tightly-knit fabric being ripped apart. It is difficult if not impossible to put that fabric back together again. Oh, it can be done—one can take the two pieces to an expert re-weaver who will laboriously put the threads back together. But the garment will never really be the same, and there may be a visible scar in the garment’s beauty. Infidelity is a shredding of love and trust, painful on every level.
The devil has aimed the artillery of hell against God's plan for the family. He knows he can destroy a nation if he can destroy its families. And the surest way—as we see in our daily news—is to cause infidelity.
Proverbs chapter 5 holds some important guidelines for maintaining our homes. Five factors will help you build a strong family. Their neglect will tear it down. In Part 1 we start with the first two.
The Instruction Factor
My son, pay ________________ to my wisdom; Lend your ear to my ____________________, That you may preserve discretion, And your lips may keep _____________________. Proverbs 5:1-2
Solomon wanted to talk to his son about sexual purity, so he began by reminding him to listen to instruction.
Where does a young person go to find instruction on sexual morals? In our culture the answers are: their friends, television sitcoms, teen-oriented magazines, their music idols, MTV, trendy young film stars, online dating sites and chat rooms. Sometimes in a health education class at school where most likely abstinence or sexual purity are not only ridiculed but often banned because “abstinence” has been labeled “religious.”
Is this where you got your understanding about sex? Is this where the young people in your life are receiving instruction about sex?
1. Skim through Proverbs chapters 1 through 4. Summarize what these chapters have to say about the importance of getting God’s perspective on matters. ____________________________________________
2. God is the only pure source of wisdom about the home. The best instruction comes from the principles set forth in His Word. If you are part of a church where young people receive godly instruction on purity, you are blessed. But this should really begin at home—with parents. God has given us an instruction manual for our lives. If you are a parent, have you been the one to teach to your children about God’s plan, purposes and principles for sex? _________ If not, then who has? __________________
Turn to Proverbs 6:32
Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; He who does so destroys his own soul.
God could hardly be more plainspoken than this. He’s saying the person involved in immorality is ignorant and his ignorance leads him to destruction.
Turn to Psalm 119. Whether you are a young man, a young woman, or older, this verse applies to you:
9 How can a young man ________________ his way?
By taking heed according to Your ______________.
10 With my whole heart I have sought You;
Oh, let me not wander from Your ___________________________!
King David cries out to God in these heartfelt verses (Psalm 51):
9 Hide Your face from my sins,
And blot out all my iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
3. Notice that David uses the word “renew.” What does the word “re-new” tell you about David at the moment he wrote this? ________________________
You may be coming to this study from a position of shame or guilt over a moral failure in your life. Remember that one of the most colossal moral failures recorded in Scripture was David and his involvement with a married woman. There was a harsh penalty to pay: David lost the little child conceived from that event, and as a result, Scripture says, “the sword never left” David’s house (2 Samuel 12:10). But God was there to renew and restore David when he confessed and repented.
4. Pause for a time here. If there is something—anything—that needs to be confessed, whether a moral issue or not, confess it now to God. Write your prayer to Him here.
God has a plan for our moral life. We must know that and our young people need to know that. We must study and apply His wisdom on morality, follow it ourselves, and instruct them.
The Deception Factor
Perhaps you already know all that God has said in His Word about this subject. You could quote five verses from memory about faithfulness and fidelity. Then, your enemy isn’t ignorance—it’s deception. Turn to Proverbs 5:3‑5.
For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey,
And her mouth is smoother than oil;
But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
Sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death,
Her steps lay hold of hell.
God doesn’t mince words on this subject, does He? Three times in this one passage, He describes infidelity with deadly metaphors.
Sword Death Hell
We must be aware of Satan's snares, for he wants to deceive you and ruin your life. He deceives by making immorality seem fun and exciting. He deceives with allurement, entrapment, and eventual enslavement.
The Scripture says that there are “pleasures of sin for a season” (Hebrews 11:25). Note “for a season.” One is thing certain about “seasons”—they pass and are gone. As sure as night follows day and spring turns to fall, then winter, the season of “fun” will be gone and you will be left holding the consequences.
Some people think immorality is a great idea. But sexual sin has deadly power. Like a coiled cobra, it fascinates, then assassinates. It thrills, then kills. It leads directly to death—the death of joy, purity, your spiritual life, your marriage, and can eventually lead to physical death.
How often do you think David looked down at his suffering infant son—who, had he lived, would have been Solomon’s older brother—and wished with all his heart he could roll back the clock to that sunny afternoon a few months prior and make the choice to follow God’s instructions?
Do not let that outcome be your outcome. Do not make the choice David made.
Neither give place to the devil. Ephesians 4:27
5. Paraphrase Ephesians 4:27 by writing it in your own words here:
The only way to stay away from Satan's deceit is to make no room for him!
But all nature abhors a vacuum….so….what should we do?
Next month we answer that question and continue this study as we cover the Infusion Factor, the Protection Factor, the Destruction Factor—and conclude with God’s Intention.
Think It Over
It began as…an “innocent” friendship…a flirtation at the office…a rekindled acquaintance on Facebook…curiosity on the internet.
Many an innocent child has absorbed the full blow of a choice like this. He has witnessed his family disintegrate and his security vanish; cries in bed at night because he misses his father or mother; he’s shuffled back and forth in joint custody, grows up wounded, and carries those wounds into his own marriage. And it all began in an unguarded moment when a person rationalized, “I need this. No one will be hurt.” Infidelity is the gift that keeps on giving. Although sin can always been forgiven and a right relationship with God restored, sin has a trickle-down effect. A stain seeps through layer upon layer of the family fabric, “unto the 3rd and 4th generation.” It does not have to be this way. We always have choices. Join us for Part 2.